Supporting Articles.

According to Co-dependents Anonymous (CoDA), detachment is a conscious act of self-care. We choose to disengage emotionally from people and/or leave situations that could harm us. Detaching allows us to emotionally and/or physically separate ourselves from people, events, and places in order to gain a healthy, objective point of view. If we don’t like the behaviour of others, we can detach, recognising that we are separate from them with our own distinct identity and set of boundaries. We endeavour to detach with love and respect for ourselves and others, especially when detaching from family or friends. Even though we care, we remember that we are not responsible for other people’s behaviours, nor are they responsible for our well-being.

According to Co-dependents Anonymous (CoDA), detachment is a conscious act of self-care. We choose to disengage emotionally from people and/or leave situations that could harm us. Detaching allows us to emotionally and/or physically separate ourselves from people, events, and places in order to gain a healthy, objective point of view. If we don’t like the behaviour of others, we can detach, recognising that we are separate from them with our own distinct identity and set of boundaries. We endeavour to detach with love and respect for ourselves and others, especially when detaching from family or friends. Even though we care, we remember that we are not responsible for other people’s behaviours, nor are they responsible for our well-being.

In our society, we are taught to find our happiness from external sources such as our job, wealth, fame, honour, power or a relationship. Only when we seek pleasure from these external sources alone, do we struggle to find acceptance and happiness.

According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance is an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with oneself and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Acknowledging and accepting one’s own strengths and weaknesses, as well as being willing to accept one’s own imperfections, are all prerequisites for self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is the ability to accept yourself as you are instead of how you wish you were, or how you wish others perceive you.

Self-acceptance is exactly what its name suggests: the state of complete acceptance of oneself. True self-acceptance is embracing who you are without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions. This definition emphasises the importance of accepting all facets of the self. It is not enough to embrace what is good, valuable, or positive about yourself; in order to embody true self-acceptance, you must also embrace what is less desirable about yourself. If you’re thinking that accepting all the negative aspects of yourself sounds difficult—you’re not wrong! It’s not easy to accept the things that we desperately want to change about ourselves; however, it is only by truly accepting ourselves that we can begin the process of meaningful self-improvement.

The key to happiness is meeting our needs. Although co-dependents are very good at meeting the needs of other people, they struggle to take care of their own needs. They have problems identifying, expressing, and fulfilling their needs and wants. They may be very attuned to the needs and desires of other people, even anticipating them. They become so accustomed to accommodating others that they lose touch with their own needs and desires over time.

What if someone asks you, “Who are you?” The automatic response is to provide your name and occupation. You believe you have answered the question by providing your name and the nature of your work. Often the answer is not who you are but what you do. Many people struggle to answer the question “Who are you?” because they don’t know themselves. There is a deeper level of self-identity that is rooted in the truth of who you truly are, your authentic self. Your authentic self is the sum of all your skills, talents, and wisdom, and it extends beyond what you do for a living, what possessions you own, who you are to someone, or what you do for a living.

If you have co-dependent traits, you’re probably wondering how in the world you can change these patterns and stop being co-dependent. Co-dependency, like life, occurs along a continuum. Most people are taught that there are two choices in life-the right way and the wrong way.

When people acknowledge that they may have codependent characteristics, they often begin to wonder how these co-dependent tendencies originated. Why do some people feel insecure in all of their relationships? What causes co-dependency? Why is it so difficult to break free from co-dependent relationships? While the answers aren’t the same for everyone, it begins in childhood for most people.

Co-dependent relationships can have an impact on our families, children, friends, and relatives, as well as our businesses and careers, health, and spiritual growth. Co-dependency, if left untreated, can be debilitating and cause us to be more destructive to ourselves and others.

Co‐Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) has put together this list of patterns to help you evaluate whether you display symptoms of codependency. You don’t need to have them all to qualify as codependent. These personality characteristics are cognitive, emotional, and behavioural patterns that impact an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationships with yourself and other people.

Do find yourself making lots of sacrifices for other people’s happiness, but not getting much in return? Do you find yourself people pleasing, setting poor boundaries, having low self-esteem, love addiction, staying in abusive relationships, or helping people at the expense of yourself? If so, you could be struggling with codependency.