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Finding Your True Self

Jonathan Riley

“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are, The second greatest is being happy with what you find.” – Auliq Ice

The American English Dictionary defines self-discovery as follows: “a becoming aware of one’s true potential, character, and motives.” The most significant adventure of our lives is discovering who we really are. So many people in our world feel overwhelmed, lonely, and unfulfilled. They feel empty because they have lost connection with themselves. Self-discovery is a journey in which we seek to fully understand ourselves, our values, our likes and dislikes, hobbies that interest us, characteristics that we value, and people with whom we want to surround ourselves.

According to Lim (2019), not knowing yourself well can result in feeling empty and unfulfilled. People can allow their emotions and decisions to be externally dictated because they have no clear idea about their inner values, core beliefs, and goals. Instead, they adopt the values, core beliefs and opinions of their friends, colleagues or parents, as their own.

Simple Steps to Self-Discovery

Figure Out Your Purpose

What are you meant to do in your lifetime? According to research, having a sense of purpose and meaning in life improves overall wellbeing and life satisfaction, improves mental and physical health, boosts resiliency and self-esteem, and lowers the risk of depression.

Discover Your Passions

Our passion is what we choose to do with our time when we have no pressing responsibilities and just want to feel happy. Some of us write, draw, paint, sing, dance, cook or play sport. Spending time doing things you enjoy gives you a better understanding of who you are and what you want out of life.

Identify your core values

Ask yourself what your personal values are. Core values will be things like compassion, honesty, love, kindness, loyalty, etc. Clarifying your core values will give you an exact picture of who YOU are.

Find the right career.

Selecting the appropriate career path is a critical stage in anyone’s life. The job you choose will help determine your overall happiness. By acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, you can pursue a career that makes you happy, instead of one that makes you feel miserable and unfulfilled.

Learning What You Need in Relationships

Self-Discovery enhances our relationships because we become less concerned with what others think of us, because we are more comfortable with ourselves. This ultimately removes critical and negative people from our lives and attracts people who inspire us to be passionate about our lives.

The Benefits of Self-Discovery

Self-Discovery helps us to heal

Self-Discovery requires that you deal with the issues that are holding you back from reaching your true potential. It encourages you to become aware of your fears, emotional pains, childhood issues, limiting beliefs, and unhealthy patterns so that you can process them, let them go, and find true peace within.

It helps you to never feel alone

When you are constantly learning about yourself, you CONNECT with who you truly are. This connection allows you to feel comfortable with yourself, and you naturally start to enjoy your own company.

Resistance to social pressure

When you are grounded in your values and preferences, you are less likely to say “yes” when you want to say “no”.

Vitality and pleasure

Being who you truly are, helps you feel more alive and makes your experience of life richer, larger, and more exciting.

Finally, if you don’t participate in self-discovery, your goals, core beliefs and values will be dictated by those whom you associate with or by society in general. It is for this reason and the reasons mentioned above that self-discovery is so important.


Davis, D. (2018, October 22). Why Self-Discovery Is Important. Retrieved from

Kofman, F. (2019). Meaning Revolution: leading with the power of purpose. Place of publication not identified: W H ALLEN.

Lim, E. (2019, March 5). 7 Steps To Self Discovery. Retrieved from

Schumer, L. (2018, October 11). Why Following Your Passions Is Good for You (and How to Get Started). Retrieved from

Selig, M. (2016, March 9). Know Yourself? 6 Specific Ways to Know Who You Are. Retrieved from

Smith, E. E. (2015, January 5). There’s More to Life Than Being Happy. Retrieved from