“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” – Robert Holden
Love is a complex emotion that has been the subject of countless books, movies, and songs. It is often portrayed as the ultimate goal in life, the thing that will make us feel complete and fulfilled. However, the reality is that love alone cannot bring us lasting happiness. While it is true that love can bring us joy and happiness, it can also bring pain, heartbreak, and disappointment. Therefore, it is important to have a more nuanced understanding of the role of love in our lives.
Society has led us to believe that we are incomplete without a romantic partner. We are bombarded with messages that tell us that finding our “soulmate” is the ultimate goal in life, and that we should never settle for anything less. This pressure can create feelings of desperation and can lead us to make unhealthy relationship choices. When we hold out for the perfect person to complete us, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. No one can complete us but ourselves. Happiness is not something that can be given to us by someone else. It is something that we must cultivate within ourselves. We must take responsibility for our own happiness and work on developing a positive relationship with ourselves.
When we become dependent on our partners for our happiness, we are giving away our power. We are essentially saying that our happiness is dependent on the actions and emotions of others. This is unfair to our partners as it places a heavy burden on them to always provide us with happiness. A healthy and fulfilling relationship is one where both individuals come together as whole, complete individuals. Each person should be able to stand on their own two feet and bring their own unique strengths to the relationship. When we focus on completing ourselves, we become more attractive to potential partners. We exude confidence, independence, and self-love, which are all highly desirable qualities. It is also important to remember that a partner cannot complete us, but they can inspire us to become the best version of ourselves. A partner can provide support, encouragement, and a sense of companionship, but they cannot make us feel complete. It is up to us to do the hard work of cultivating our own happiness and becoming the best version of ourselves.
Research supports the idea that relying on a partner for happiness is not a healthy approach to relationships. A study conducted by the University of Michigan found that people who feel incomplete without a partner are more likely to have lower levels of self-esteem, more anxiety, and more feelings of loneliness than those who do not feel this way. Another study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that people who have a strong sense of self and are able to fulfill their own needs tend to have happier and more satisfying relationships.
When we focus on completing ourselves, we become less likely to settle for someone who is not a good match for us. We are more discerning and are better able to recognize red flags and potential deal breakers. This means that we are more likely to end up in healthy, fulfilling relationships that bring us long-term happiness. Research has also shown that people who focus on completing themselves and cultivating their own happiness are more likely to end up in healthy, fulfilling relationships. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that people who have high levels of self-esteem and are satisfied with their own lives are more likely to have higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
In conclusion, an amazing partner doesn’t complete you, he or she inspires you to complete yourself. Love can bring joy and happiness into our lives, but it should not be confused with happiness itself. We must take responsibility for our own happiness and work on developing a positive relationship with ourselves. We should focus on completing ourselves, so that we can show up in our relationships as whole, complete individuals. By cultivating our own happiness and being true to ourselves, we can attract partners who are also happy and whole, creating a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.