Supporting Articles.

In relationships, shame is a sabotaging force. Some people with deep shame issues find they have a fear of intimacy. So, they jump from one relationship to the next, or stay in one relationship but with an exhausting pattern of ‘push & pull’. In some cases, shame can lead you to stay in codependent or even abusive relationships, confirming your shameful notion you are not worthy of good things such as love. Socially, you may find you struggle to be fully yourself, always acting happier than you are, or that you have constant conflict with others that comes from your shame driven tendency to be defensive. Shame can lead to friendships with individuals who do not recognise or treat you well or relationships where you meet the needs of others and avoid your own needs.

Fear of shame is our fear of being shamed again by our boss, partner, family members, friends or parents. It has much greater control of our lives than shame itself. ​We may be afraid to hear about our mistakes or shortcomings and, in turn, become defensive or critical, possibly avoiding or lying about a situation. We become terrified of being discounted or abandoned. We control others out of fear of their disappointment or anger with us. The shame we fear most is the same type of shame we experienced in our childhood.

According to Jantz (2017), body-shaming is the act of deriding or mocking a person’s physical appearance. The scope of body shaming is wide, and can include, although is not limited to fat-shaming, shaming for thinness, height-shaming, shaming of one’s body shape, one’s muscularity (or lack thereof), shaming of looks (facial features), and in its broadest sense may even include shaming of tattoos and piercings.

The feeling of shame comes from the belief that “I am basically flawed, inadequate, wrong, bad, unimportant, undeserving or not good enough.” At some early point in our lives, most of us absorbed this false belief that causes the feeling of shame. As a result of not feeling seen, loved, valued and understood, we developed the belief that we were not being loved because there was something wrong with us. While some children were told outright that they were stupid, bad or undeserving; other children concluded that there was something wrong with them by the way they were treated.

While the words “guilt” and “shame “are used almost interchangeably, there is a big psychological difference. Shame has long been viewed as “the toxic cousin of guilt. Although shame is an emotion that is closely related to guilt, it is important to understand the differences. Both shame and guilt can have serious implications for our perceptions of ourselves and our actions towards other people, especially in situations of conflict.

Shame is a powerful emotion that has the potential to shape peoples’ lives in significant ways. Shame is so powerful that it can impact the whole trajectory of a person’s life. Because of shame’s power, it is important to understand the specific impact it has on people. In addition, it is important to consider the way out of shame.

Because of its preverbal origins, shame can be difficult to define. Shame is a normal human emotion. In itself, shame is not bad. In fact, it is necessary to have the feeling of shame if one is to be truly human. Shame is the emotion that allows us to be human; it also informs us of our limitations. Shame keeps us in our human boundaries, letting us know we can and will make mistakes, and that we need help (Bradshaw, 2005). Healthy shame is the psychological foundation of humility. It is the source of being a healthy human being.

Evening routines are an essential because, unlike morning routines, they set us up for two things: wrapping up our day and getting a good night’s sleep. By implementing evening routines, you will be able to tackle the morning in a smoother and more productive way.

While your morning routine sets you up for a productive day, you can also optimise your daily routines and how you spend your time during the workday. Rather than just reacting to what’s being thrown at you, productive workday habits and routines make sure you know and focus on your priorities, can block out distractions, and have a plan for getting back on track when things go awry (MacKay, 2019).

Many of us are busy, have a lot of responsibilities and obligations, and often feel strapped for time. Mornings set the tone for your day. Having a great morning routine can make all the difference in being productive, achieving goals, feeling organised, and doing all of this with confidence.

Work, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, shopping, exercising, getting enough sleep, and taking care of a family are just some of the things millions of people do each day, and it is easy to be overwhelmed. It can feel impossible to get everything done, let alone take care of yourself – especially if you’re already struggling with mental health concerns such as depression or anxiety. By creating routines, we organise our days in such a way that taking care of tasks and ourselves becomes a pattern that makes it easier to get things done without having to think hard about them (Mental Health America, 2020).

According to the Northwestern University of Medicine (2020) having a daily routine can greatly improve your health. People are creatures of habit, and routines offer a way to promote health and wellness through structure and organisation. Creating a routine allows us to build in time for the important things. This includes time to rest, relax, and have fun. A study by Tel Aviv University states that predictable, repetitive routines are calming and can help reduce anxiety. They can also help you take control of your day and subsequently, your life.