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What Are Some Helpful Resources for Quitting Porn?

Jonathan Riley

When it comes to overcoming an addiction to pornography, many find help and support in community-based recovery programs. Three well-known programs that offer this kind of support are Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), and Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA). Each of these programs adopts the 12-step approach, which has been successful for many in dealing with various addictions and compulsive behaviours.

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)

Imagine you’re walking into a room where everyone understands the struggle you’re facing because they’ve been there themselves. This is the essence of Sexaholics Anonymous. SA focuses strictly on helping people who want to stop their sexually compulsive behaviour and live a life of sobriety. The group defines sexual sobriety by abstinence from any form of sex outside of a traditional marriage. For many, this clear boundary provides a concrete goal and helps members avoid confusion in their recovery journey.

In an SA meeting, you might hear someone share a story about how difficult it was to resist urges while alone at home, but how reaching out to a fellow member helped them get through the night. This sense of community and mutual aid is central to SA’s approach. The meetings are usually closed to outsiders to maintain privacy and focus, providing a safe space for members to open up and support each other.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)

Now, consider another scenario where the challenge is not only with pornography but also with romantic obsession or emotional dependency. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous addresses a broader spectrum of issues including love addiction, an obsession with romantic relationships, and, of course, sex addiction including pornography.

SLAA introduces the concept of a personal “bottom line” behaviour, which varies from person to person. Members identify behaviours they wish to abstain from and create a recovery plan based around these goals. For example, someone’s bottom line might include no consumption of pornography and no engaging in relationships that they find emotionally damaging.

Meetings often feature discussions about how to maintain healthy, realistic relationships with oneself and others. Listening to someone describe how changing their relationship patterns led to improvements in all areas of their life can be incredibly inspiring. SLAA provides a platform for understanding the interconnections between love, sex, and self-esteem.

Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)

Lastly, let’s dive into Sex Addicts Anonymous. SAA recognises the unique nature of each person’s addiction and therefore offers a more personalised approach to defining sobriety. Each member, with the help of their sponsor and group, defines what sexual sobriety means for them. This might include, for many, abstaining from the use of pornography.

In SAA, members often work closely with a sponsor to understand the complexities of their behaviours and triggers. Imagine a scenario where after a stressful day at work, someone feels the urge to use porn as a coping mechanism. Instead of giving in to the urge, they call their sponsor and discuss healthier ways to manage their stress. This kind of immediate support can be crucial in moments of vulnerability.

The 12-Step Approach

All these groups—SA, SLAA, and SAA—use the 12-step model, which provides a structured path towards recovery. The steps begin with admitting powerlessness over the addiction, which can be a humbling yet freeing experience. They involve recognising the harm caused by the addiction, making amends, and continuing to take personal inventory. The steps also emphasise a spiritual awakening, though this is broadly defined and can conform to any religious or non-religious belief system.

Members often talk about how working the steps has not only helped them abstain from addictive behaviours but also led to significant personal growth and better relationships with others. The process of working through the steps isn’t always straight forward, and sometimes they might need to repeat certain steps more than once.

Building a New Way of Life

For many in these groups, the value comes not just from stopping a behaviour but from the community and the new way of life they build through recovery. Regular meetings, sharing sessions, and the friendship found in these groups provide continuous support. For someone struggling with porn addiction, knowing that they are not alone and that others have successfully walked this path can be incredibly empowering. Each group offers a slightly different perspective and set of tools, but all aim to help people find recovery and a new sense of hope.